Faith (YAY)
I am the most undisciplined person I know. I have an incredibly hard time denying myself the pleasures of my flesh. And I know when I say that, your mind might jump to sexual sin. While that is indeed something I battle with (a topic for another day!), it’s not really what I’m referring to. You see, if I don’t feel like doing something, I simply won’t do it. I’ve realized my 11 PM self and my 5 AM self are frenemies in the worst way. I make all these plans, envisioning things I want to do to become a better person. But when my 5:00 AM alarm rings, I turn over and let my mind talk me out of every single plan I had. Honestly, I get angry, Because at that moment I can't see past my fleshly desire to stay asleep. So, Inevitably, I fall back asleep. Later, when I finally get up, get dressed, and start my day, I’m overwhelmed with guilt. I tell myself I’m not good enough, and I may never be. I cry out to God, asking why I’m so lazy and what I need to change so that He can step in and do the rest. For a very long time, I thought this cycle was faith. That faith meant that if I set the stage and made myself the main character, then God would come in and do the rest. He will make MY plans perfect. HOW UNBIBLICAL IS THAT!!!
It wasn’t until about two years ago that I actually started reading the Bible for myself. To be honest, the only scripture I knew before that was what I heard on Sunday mornings from the pulpit. For most of my life, my faith was tied to the beliefs of the adults around me. Growing up as a pastor’s kid, you quickly pick up on the Christian lingo—trust me, I knew how to ‘hoot and holler’ with the best of them. Now it almost feels like a survival skill; weird how I felt like I had to prove my holiness.
But as I began reading the Bible on my own, I found something surprising: the voice of God wasn’t loud or flashy; it was still and small. I used to feel at ease with a faith that was bold and in my face. Because I knew that the sound of my empty shout was a band-aid for my conviction. I really believed that church on Sunday would cancel out my sin from the days before. As I’ve grown, I’ve learned the power of the praise that comes from my quiet place.
When you don’t regularly read the Bible and seek out its wisdom for yourself, it becomes easy for your mind to create its own truths. Without the guidance of scripture, you can end up believing these self-made ideas, essentially a case of ‘the blind leading the blind’—or maybe more like ‘Dumb and Dumber.’ I realize that sounds harsh, but if any part of what I've said so far is connecting with you it’s most likely because you are also stubborn. And like me, you need someone to say something slightly mean for you to snap out of your self-centered mindset- You’re welcome.
A harsh reality I had to face was that my walk with Christ—my faith—wasn’t just about me. It was then that I was reminded of Esther's story. See Esther was deeply favored by God, yet there came a moment when she faced a critical choice. Mordecai, her cousin and father figure, reminded her that even if she chose not to fulfill God’s will, God’s plan would still prevail: ‘If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place… Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?’ (Esther 4:14, NLT). In the end, Esther’s decision showed that true faith often means stepping up, even when the path is difficult. Let’s break this down-
1. “See Esther was deeply favored by God, yet there came a moment when she faced a critical choice.”
First, let us not assume that because we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior our lives will not include suffering. In fact, accepting Jesus as your lord and savior almost guarantees moments of suffering. What makes it all worth it is that the Bible shows us how to Suffer Well. What we don't understand is that though we may have these trials and tribulations what we also have is the spirit of our almighty God. and if you choose to dwell in the spirit of God you make yourself susceptible to the manifestation of the fruits of the spirit. That is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self-control.
2. “Mordecai, her cousin and father figure, reminded her that even if she chose not to fulfill God’s will, God’s plan would still prevail:”
What I love about Mordecai is his faithfulness. Although Esther was a queen and Mordecai merely a servant, he was exactly the reminder Esther needed. In the Old Testament, God says, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone’ (Genesis 2:18, NLT). Often, we interpret this verse solely in the context of marriage. But what if we broaden our perspective?
In Esther’s story, she was forced into marriage with a king who acted as he pleased. Though her title as queen granted her favor, the relationship itself was far from ideal. Thank God for Mordecai. Esther, essentially an orphan, was raised by Mordecai. When we consider what it means not to be ‘good alone,’ Mordecai’s role is vital. He was a faithful man, and he taught faithfulness to Esther. Even as her circumstances changed and her faithfulness was tested, Mordecai was there to remind her of the basics: God’s will would always prevail.
So, my question for you is, who in your life is your Mordecai? Who is there to remind you of what you already know, especially when your faith needs it most?
3. “In the end, Esther’s decision showed that true faith often means stepping up, even when the path is difficult”
At this point, you might think my story about Esther, faith, and finding God in the quiet place all lead to one simple takeaway: that I just need to wake up with my 5:00 a.m. alarm. But it’s more complicated than that. There’s a deeper question here: are we placing our faith in something truly aligned with God’s will for us? It’s one thing to pray every night, asking God to change our circumstances, but if He’s already said ‘no’—and we’re just refusing to hear it—that’s where the struggle lies.
I realized that the changes I wanted in myself needed to start with a hard conversation with God. Instead of praying, ‘Lord, why am I so lazy?’ maybe I should ask, ‘Lord, is this even in Your will for me?’ Often, we want practical steps, a ‘how-to’ on faith. But God’s plans for each of us are so unique. For some, waking up at 5:00 a.m. might be their ministry, but that doesn’t mean it’s mine—and I have to be okay with that.
We might aspire to match the faith we see in others, thinking we can achieve it by imitating their routines. But what if God is calling us to a different path? When Esther gathered her courage, it was to fulfill God’s specific will, not a generic calling. Mordecai told her, “If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place” (Esther 4:14, NLT). How gut-wrenching to realize that if we don’t step into our calling, God will still accomplish His purpose—just through someone else.
So maybe our prayer needs to shift. Instead of saying, “God, I want to do this, so use me here,” perhaps we should be saying, “God, I want to do Your will, the one You’ve planned for my life. Help me move according to Your purpose because I don’t want to miss the mark or let someone else fulfill the calling You meant for me.”
The Bible’s definition of faith is the most perfect one. Hebrews 11:1 says, 'Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.' I want to bring us back here because I believe it’s important for you to recognize that I am not saying you cannot believe in something. I believe that if you desire something, pray for it, fast for it, and believe for it, God can move in that area. I guess what it all boils down to is me wanting to challenge the things that you hope for.
